The Hate List

Sooo this is going to be kind of negative, actally very negative, but things have been really hard lately so im going to try to be more positive after i get everything out in the open. Kay? Kay.

I hate hospitals.
I hate doctors.
I hate AP Environmental science.
I hate exams.
I hate stress.
I hate Enviro teachers who teach you nothing and expect you to do everything by yourself when I have absolutely no time.
I hate scrapbook projects.
I hate fatty liver disease.
I hate my boyfriend having fatty liver disease.
I hate dieting because of said fatty liver and trying to be a good role model to a 19 year old.
I hate friends who turn slutty.
I hate people who are always drunk.
I hate the thought of leaving everyone in a year.
I hate not knowing whats going to happen.
I hate ticks.
I hate on and off relationships.
I hate lying and liars.
I hate continuously having to be a bitch when I know for a fact that I'm in the wrong.
I hate the fact that I hate so much stuff.
I hate people using the word gay to replace stupid.
I hate people getting into other's business.
I hate crying.
I hate being pissed all the time and how the only time I ever seem happy is when I'm putting on a facade or I'm getting attention.
I hate being an attention whore.
I hate sleep apnea.
I hate insomnia.
I hate allergies.
I hate being sleepy all the time.
I hate low self esteem.
I hate that everything seems so hard and I don't have control over any of it.
I hate not being in control.
I hate that me and Lowell fight so much.
I hate that through everything I've tried I still can't stop the fighting or get through to him.
I hate the thought of losing him.
I hate him being homebound for school.
I hate being jealous.
I hate that I can't ignore his past.
I hate being asked if i feel okay continuously.
Obviusly I'm not okay if everything is fucking falling apart right in front of me.

Anyway..thats the hate list. I'll probably add more as i think of them. Hopefully next post will be more positive.

I'm so bad at keeping up with theseeeee

Well now that its been over a year I think this is in serious need of an update. Or rather Jessie thinks its in serious need of an update lol.
So hmmmm..what's been happening.
Well 1. I'm grounded..fun isnt it?
2. Friday is my one year with my wonderful boyfriend Lowell <3
3. Winter formal is on saturday, my dress came in today!!!
4. The new semester starts on Wednesday, yay 3 AP classes lol.

So all in all, been pretty exciting lately right? I've decided I realllllly wanna got to Asheville and be dorm buddies with Jessie. Oh yeah! I have 1st period with her and lunch this semester! I'm excited. Everyone seems to be changing and growing up. Im almost done with Junior year already. Thats unbelievable. I think im changing as a person. I've made some realizations lately and its time to grow up a little. Im gonna start trying to make the best out of things I think. That would be a very good start.