Hmmmm

I have not updated this is in a few days. I need to be better about it. My life is pretty boring though. Nothing has really happened since my huge epiphany. My dad has been a real jerk, but what else can you expect of fathers? Ive been spending most of my time at the playground with my friend Sarah. I have an obsession with swings! Oh, I missss you jessie, i havnt hung out with you since Jamie's house. Thats horrible because we used to hang out almost every weekend. I wish my dad hasn't like banned me from seeing my friends. Oh well. Busch Gardens in exactly a weeek!!! Woooooot! I loveeee rollercosters. I finished Cut and I Don't Want To Be Crazy. Both were excellent. I recommend them. I Don't Want To Be Crazy is deffinately good for people who have anxiety problems such as myself. I am now reading Blue Bloods. The bands that make me smile at the moment are Hollywood Undead, Avenged Sevenfold, AFI, and My Chemical Romance. They are lovely. Tomorrow I am going bathing suit shopping and then babysitting again. Oh what fun. OMG! I CANNNOT believe Michael Jackson died! I loved his music. =[ RIP. Wellll I believe thats about it. I gotta make a playlist for this and I will soon, I guess I've been kind of busy lately. I gotta get off now. So until next time! =]

Oh and have I mentioned how much parents suck? Cause they do, alot.

Epiphany!

Well I just had a very interesting night. Filled with tears and blubbering, along with self pity and guilt, and longing and loneliness. How Fun!? No, not at all. But I did realize lots of stuff that could be useful. As Jessie told me, its a bit cliche', or maybe a lot. I need to change as a person, but in a positive way. There is stuff about me that even annoy myself. I am working on it though. Last year was the worst year I've ever had and it was my first year of high school. My boyfriend broke up with me, my best friend moved away, another best friend kinda turned on me even though she's back in my life now. All that seemed like it was impossible to get through. And no, this is not one of those i found God and he pulled me through things, no offense to anyone. I realized all of it made me stronger. I learned that I can survive through tough times, there are ways around it. Tonight I was childish, selfish, and it was not okay. I did realize something that comes in handy i believe. You never realize how special something is until you lose it. I remember going to school most days in middle school and dreading them when now, I wish they were back. I wish I had appreciated it more. I'm also done with wishing. That means no more 11:11 for me. YOU have to make good stuff happen to you and not let anything get you down. Being depressed and hating yourself is not the way to go, it makes everything harder. Everything has its ups and downs. The ups end but so do the downs. Life is a continuous cycle. Good things come and go but so do bad things. There is a time where you HAVE to let go of the past and get on with the rest of your life. Life is too short to waste with moping. Crap happens. It will be okay.

Okey Dokey..Welll

As you see, this is my first blog, hah sorry, my life is actually pretty boring. I suppose you can say I am just your average awkward teenager trying to survive life and the hell that is high school. I am ECSTATIC that its summer. My days usually consist of getting up around 12 and babysitting my siblings, eating and getting fat, book reading, myspacing, aim-ing, fighting with parents, anddd thats about it hah. Pretty lame eh? Told you it would be. Oh, my friends Jessie and Jamie introduced me to this site so kudos for them and read their blogs =]. Umm i guess you could say i dont have many superclose friends but i have lots of acquaintances. I try to be nice to everyone and most of the time, I am overly nice, unless I'm in a bad mood then sorry if you get snapped at. Music is life, I will try to update music as much as i can, but no promises.
well umm I'll update this later, stuff just came up, so yeah.