Epiphany!

Well I just had a very interesting night. Filled with tears and blubbering, along with self pity and guilt, and longing and loneliness. How Fun!? No, not at all. But I did realize lots of stuff that could be useful. As Jessie told me, its a bit cliche', or maybe a lot. I need to change as a person, but in a positive way. There is stuff about me that even annoy myself. I am working on it though. Last year was the worst year I've ever had and it was my first year of high school. My boyfriend broke up with me, my best friend moved away, another best friend kinda turned on me even though she's back in my life now. All that seemed like it was impossible to get through. And no, this is not one of those i found God and he pulled me through things, no offense to anyone. I realized all of it made me stronger. I learned that I can survive through tough times, there are ways around it. Tonight I was childish, selfish, and it was not okay. I did realize something that comes in handy i believe. You never realize how special something is until you lose it. I remember going to school most days in middle school and dreading them when now, I wish they were back. I wish I had appreciated it more. I'm also done with wishing. That means no more 11:11 for me. YOU have to make good stuff happen to you and not let anything get you down. Being depressed and hating yourself is not the way to go, it makes everything harder. Everything has its ups and downs. The ups end but so do the downs. Life is a continuous cycle. Good things come and go but so do bad things. There is a time where you HAVE to let go of the past and get on with the rest of your life. Life is too short to waste with moping. Crap happens. It will be okay.